While giving a presentation at office Samaira suddenly had a thought “I’m such a bad presenter… I wasn’t prepared… I failed”? Why did this happen or where did this think came from?

Later in the session she mentioned her boss interrupted during her presentation and she was scolded in group for not having complete and appropriate information. Most of us have had such moment. In those moments, it feels like the entire weight of the situation rests on our shoulders. But the reality may differ.

This is where re-attribution comes in. It’s a gentle mental shift that helps us see the bigger picture. Instead of blaming ourselves completely, we pause and ask:

What did I contribute? She made the effort to present whatever information she had. She had already given deadlines to other contributors to share the details and she did her part.

What did others contribute? Was the missing information in Samaira’s presentation only her responsibility or other team members were also supposed to support her and provide their part of information.

What was beyond my control? The information provided by others, its resources, validity or reliability of the information or the errors that might be there in others information.

What can I learn from this? Each one played an important role it has to be complete team effort or even backend tasks like technical glitch or power cut etc.

The challenges are not only because of you but there are other factors too which are directly not in individual’s control. Recognizing these influences doesn’t mean we’re excusing mistakes; it means we’re being fair to ourselves.

Once we analyse the complete scenario, we can take practical steps forward: manage time better, ask for help earlier, keep backups of our slides, or let others know if we can’t attend. These small actions reduce stress and build confidence.

The real goal of re-attribution isn’t to rationalize failure—it’s to move on without shame or guilt. It’s about focusing on what we can do from our side and let go what is not in our control. When we stop carrying the burden of unnecessary self-blame, we free ourselves from such guilt, shame or blame we are better able to focus and find solutions, grow, and show up stronger next time.

So, the next time you catch yourself thinking, “I’m just not good enough,” pause. Remember: you are not the sole reason of setbacks. Re-attribution helps us replace guilt with growth, and self-criticism with self-compassion.

Ashita Mathur, Clinical Psychologist.